Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Why "A Fig Tree"?


I think this would be an appropriate time to discuss the significance of the "fig tree" and why I chose it as my url. My favorite novel is "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath (maybe one day I will explain to you why my blog is called "My Bell Jar"), and one of the motifs in the novel is "the woman that wants everything."

Ok, enough said.

I'm being facetious :) As I said, it is my favorite novel, and the protagonist is quite interesting. It's somewhat biographical of Sylvia Plath and her struggle for perfection in different facets of life. Below is a snippet of the novel that discusses the fig tree and it's metaphorical meaning. It identifies the struggle for a woman to be a scholar, mother, lover, businesswoman, philosopher, and wife all in one -- the woman that wants to be everything. Sylvia Plath wanted it all, and below she describes the struggle:

"...I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree.
One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.
I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet." ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7

Sylvia said, "
I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest..." -- I, too, want all of them. I want them, and I want to do them perfectly. I would hope that these identities are not mutually exclusive. I aspire to be the perfect mother, but at the same time, I want to be the boss' boss. I want to coach, but I want to teach, too. I want to be an independent woman, but I want to love and live for my husband and kids. I want my figs, and I want to eat them too.

43 comments:

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