Batter Up

I was watching college football when a GM commercial came on. If you thought that American car companies couldn't get worse at marketing, wait 'til I tell you about this shit. The theme was 'game changing plays.' Not only does this further the already dull and pointless messaging that companies such as Ford and GM try to sell, they crossed the line with their antics this time around. GM, a DETROIT based company, used the Appalachian State/Michigan game as the example. They chose to show the last field goal attempt that was blocked...in slow motion. PLEASE explain to me why a FAILING MICHIGAN COMPANY would choose to exploit it's home state as a method to sell shitty cars? As you can see, I am quite agitated by all this. Agitated doesn't begin to explain it actually. I could have walked outside and took a bat to every GM car in the lot. Luckily, I live in California and most people are smart enough to buy foreign cars. Get off me with the patriotism shit. If you are a patriotic American then you should further the idea of capitalism and buy the more affordable, gas efficient, and durable car. You should force them to step up their game and get with the program. I regret the fact I no longer have a Volkswagen.

Anyway, if you, your mother, or GM wants to bash Michigan football, please keep in mind I was the clean-up hitter in the batting line-up and I am anxious to get back into the 'swing' of things; the pun is most definitely intended. If you attempt to bash Lloyd Carr or threaten to burn his picture then I will save you the trouble (and carbon emissions in environment friendly California) and frame it. The last 2 times Michigan started the season 0-2, we went on to win the Big Ten Championship -- 1988 and 1998. May the trend continue and may GM dissolve into nothingness and melt in the Detroit River.